Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Blogging From Weezy - Fox News Effect

Last night, Tuesday, I met my friend, Mari Cartel for dinner at Westwood Brew Co. before going upstairs to do stand-up comedy. Mari and I grew up in radio together. She now works for Fox News. Now, I will admit to you that I have not watched a lot of Fox News because I try to be an open-minded thinker which makes me a little closed minded concerning Fox News, which, I fully realize is hypocritical and I vow to work on this glaring discrepancy. But as of this writing, the extent of my Fox News viewing consists of watching my friend Michael Reagan on Hannity and Combs and watching Ron Zonen on Greta Van Sustren.

Oh, and I have seen the documentary, "Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War On Journalism," which left me contentedly adhering to CNN and MSNBC.

Back to our story, After we ate, Mari, a Fox News reporter, came upstairs to watch my set at Westwood Brew Co. and I pointed her out in the audience as surprising evidence that one Jew works at Fox News. From this point forward, every screamingly liberal comic proceeded to pound poor Mari with their "extreme left wing liberal bias," up to and including Manuel's hauntingly graphic and sexually vivid depiction of what he will do to Sean Hannity if he ever gets within mounting distance. It was nothing good people really needed to hear but Mari’s shoulders were shaking so I’m going to assume she was laughing and not crying.

From there, we went to the Fox and Hounds Pub where Bob Cowsill was performing. Now, you may know a bit about about Bob Cowsill. He is one of the singing Cowsills and he did write and perform our podcast theme song. He’s a good friend and a brilliant guy but… and there’s no polite way to say this… He adores Fox News. His brain is crammed with so much spoon-fed, right wing, party line propaganda, he actually thinks… and there’s no polite way to say this… that George W. Bush is smart.

So in one evening, as we traveled from Westwood to Studio City, Mari experienced the great Fox News-induced polarization of Los Angeles. But far more importantly, what she experienced is that rising above our inherent views, biases and philosophical leanings is our love for one another. If we open our ears, our eyes, our hearts, we become, at once, both stronger and more peaceful. So right now, I will turn to… Neil Cavuto… And I am…listening, and I am... OK, what an ass. Sorry… I’ll do better tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Blogging From Weezy - Bi-Lincoln?

I have uncovered stunning evidence that the editors of Time Magazine listen to our podcast. A young Abe Lincoln graces the cover of this week's issue with the headline: Uncovering the real Abe Lincoln. The article goes on to de-bunk rumors of his homosexuality theorizing, as The Swish had, that for men to share beds in the mid-19th century was commonplace. The article states that "the terms homosexual and heterosexual did not exist in Lincoln's time and that fact is just one piece of evidence that the concepts of gender, sexuality and same-sex relationships were radically different in Lincoln's world."

Hmmm, well "concepts" and "terms" not withstanding, I'm doubting that much has changed in the biological nature of human beings within the last thousands of years.

Whatever they called men who fell in love with men and women who fell in love with women, or whatever they didn't call them.... they had them. If Kinsey said there's a gradient scale somewhere along which we all lie, 1 being sexually attracted only to the opposite sex and 5 being sexually attracted only to your same sex then I'm willing to speculate that if that scale exists now, it existed then. If Lincoln was a little gay or a lot gay, it matters not, other than it's more than a little funny to imagine he was really gay. Just as it's funny to picture J. Edgar Hoover in a smart gown and matching heels. I'm not saying it's polite to find it funny. I'm just saying I find it funny.

Come on though, aren't we all a little different and a lot alike? As for me, I'm a bit of a tomboy but I've never kissed a girl. And possibly, neither has Lincoln. Maybe I've just never been drunk enough. You can picture it if you need to, just don't Photoshop it onto the internet.

Back to my original point that our podcast is on the cutting edge of what's on the minds of Americans. Oh, and that we will continue our gay Lincoln debate during our next podcast. Please post your thoughts.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Podcast #3 - no, really it is this time!

Weezy and The Swish podcast 003

And so the insanity continues! I was out at Gnomedex, but I had a 'stunt-Matt' doing double duty on my behalf.

The show turned out great regardless. More zany goodies with the craigslist game, people asking Weezy for a handout, Laura going off about tires and plenty of other weirdness to occupy yourselves with for about an hour. Enjoy!


by Matt Hartley on Mon 27 Jun 2005 09:45 AM PDT

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Blogging from Swish - What to do if you spot a UFO

I consider myself extremely lucky that I happened to stumble across this very important piece of news. And if you're reading this, you, too, are lucky because I'm going to give you information that could potentially thwart a War of the Worlds-type scenario. No joke. I suggest you copy and paste this post into an email and send it to everyone on your contact list. It's just that important. Here it is, the ten things you should do if you encounter a UFO. I'm going to paraphrase a bit. Should you want to get a more in-depth, "accurate" account, check out the SF Gate article or visit the Mutual UFO Network's website. Here we go:

1. REMAIN CALM! DON'T EFFING PANIC!!!! SERIOUSLY! YEAH, YOU MIGHT BE IN DANGER, BUT BE COOL. Don't go throwing rocks at the UFO. Hide if you have to. Above all: DON'T MAKE THEM ANGRY.

2. Wait a few hours until your buzz wears off and ask yourself this: Are you SURE what you saw was a UFO? Think about it. Are you POSITIVE? No one's going to be mad if you realize what you saw was a helicopter, or something from this earth. Eliminate every other possibility.

3. STOP STARING AT THE THING SLACK-JAWED AND GET YOUR G-DAMN CAMCORDER! What? You think your description is going to be enough? Get PROOF. And don't be all herky jerky with your taping. Make sure to get points of reference, like a mountain in the background, how far thing is from the ground...that type of thing. And don't try and get all Michael Bay on us. Just shoot it straight.

4. If you're, like, the only person on the planet without a camcorder, then use a tape-recorder and describe what's going on. Like, I'm 50 feet away from the keg in my backyard, near the North-facing fence. I see red flashing lights...wait, that's a cop. No, I see green blinking lights in the sky; it sounds like....

5. If there are other people around, make sure they come up with their own descriptions. DON'T COLLABORATE. You do your work, they'll do theirs. Let the experts sort it out.

6. If any evidence was left behind, DON'T TOUCH IT, YOU MORON! Duh. Take pictures, film it, whatever. Also, you don't know where that spaceship has been. You might touch some space goo and then BOOM! Chlamydia of the hand or something.

7. Okay, if the object was spotted at a distance, what would it take to cover it from an arm's length? A penny, quarter, baseball cap, fist. What?! This will help people who understand math to figure out how far away it was, or how big it was.

8. How fast was it going?

9. If you see a space person, hide. But don't hide so well that you can't videotape the thing. Also (and SF Gate didn't even mention this), cover the blinking red light on your camcorder. Space aliens like blinking red lights. AND--and this is really important--if you take a picture don't use flash. This will give the space being red eye and you'll have to photoshop that out later. Oh, and it might alert the creature as to your location, so it can easily kill you.

10. Immediately report the siting to a crackpot organization dedicated to proving UFOs really exist.

11. Post a description to my blog.

Well, good luck out there, folks.

Adam Curry is interested in what we have to offer?

Great news, I spoke with Adam Curry in person at Gnomedex and he is truly interested in checking out the show. He mentioned that "this type of thing is exactly what Podshow needs" when I explained what the show was about. I hope to get the promo to him very soon. Not bad, eh?

As for the latest podcast, I should have it up soon.

Blogging From Weezy - Pod Cast #3 and Stand-up Comedy

The Swish is now blogging over here which is great because now we can talk to each other whenever we're not talking to each other in the podcast or on the phone or in person. Sweet.

We completed podcast #3 today and it is just packed from stem to stern with completely useless chatter. One of the inane subjects we touched upon was emails I get from possibly, but probably not well intentioned individuals asking me for money. These requests have come in the wake of my testimony at the Michael Jackson trial. Folks seem to believe that since I gave money to people I know in the midst of their crisis that I will now randomly give money to people I don't know in the midst of their assorted crisis. I received one letter that touched me so very deeply, I felt compelled to read it during Podcast #3. However, sadly, I was not able to get through the letter without laughing. Now, this either makes me a callous bitch or it makes this letter the most ingenious piece of woven bull crap ever assembled. Either way, here is the letter and to Barbara, if your misery is, in fact, real, I am sorrowfully apologetic, but, my gosh, this is good stuff...

Hi Louise; my name is Barbara Buchanan, I'm 55 yrs. old and All my life. I have done manual labor with dirty heavy lifting and pulling etc. I raised both my boys working in fiberglass for over 14 years, and I’m now raising my 16 year old granddaughter, Terri because her mother poured boiling water down her throat when she was a baby. I ended up having back surgery because when I turned off the air compressor the breaker box exploded in my face, which picked me up and turned me around rupturing a disk in my back plus I had first & second degree burns on my face and hand. Anyway then I slipped in water and froze my knee cap over to the right side. I worked over 7mo. like that because my mother and son was both very ill and I had to buy their medicines and pay Dr. bills. So I ended up having 4 surgeries on my right knee and 2 on my left. My right knee goes out from underneath me without me knowing it so now I'm disabled and on Social Security after going to college and everything plus I also have periperal neuropathy now, which is very painful in both legs & feet. My mother and I both have electric mobility chairs with no way to haul them. But now we don't even have a car as mine died. I'm behind in everything including the trailer payment, I don't want a new one I just need an extended minivan with rear A/C, or a pickup with 4doors as I have a pretty good size butt and a regular pickup just wouldn't work, plus Terri has long legs & our dog likes to go. It has to be very dependable with A/C due to my mother diseased heart and me being hot natured. My mother had a very hard time getting in and especially out of the car and I did to but not like her because her heart is so bad that they won't do surgery on her knees which are bone to bone of repair her torn rotator cuff. Anyway with the price of them and the taxes it comes around $20,000. I know this is a lot to ask for but we desperately need help from someone please. You or anyone can come and see that everything I have said is on the up & up, We're not someone just wanting money for the heck of it, I'd like to pay this darn trailer off as it's in my brothers name and it's making it hard on him Thank you For Listening & God Bless, Barbara Buchanan

God Bless you too, Barbara but I'm going to have to say no.

STAND-UP COMEDY

Comedian, Deb Cox and I did stand-up at the Home Brew in San Dimas tonight (Saturday). We both had pretty good sets. Chris Kostelevsky, the guy who runs the room gave us each tiny magic eight balls and Deb and I spent the ride home asking our little magic eight balls questions about guys we like. Deb got the same answer every time she asked a certain question. Hmmm... It's hard to believe that we are both fully functional adults with careers, lives and homes. But, are we really? "Ask again later."

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Blogging from Swish - The Mochi Papers/Weezy Loses It

Mochi: One great reason to shop at Trader Joe's. I got strawberry Mochi today, my favorite flavor (and I normally am not a fan of strawberry). Another good bet, if you're not yet hip to the deliciousness that is Mochi--Green Tea. Chocolate not so much.

Have just returned from taping podcast number three. Weezy looses it, breaks down in tears and slanders one of our most respected presidents. It was truly disgraceful. I don't want to talk about it. I'm really worked up. If she thought she got hate mail before...

Bean, my pooch, has learned the craft of holding her poop in. I go to walk her, she knows if she does her business right away, walks over. If she waits, holds it in, she gets a few blocks out of me, even if I'm in a hurry. I think it's bull crap.

Saw the new zombie movie last night. Though I'm not a huge fan of zombie movies, I really enjoyed it. Run out to see the movie. Or take slow, but plodding, jerky steps toward theater with your arms out.

NEWSFLASH!

The war's over. Just heard on the news. The insurgency realized they really did want democracy after all. Phew! Now we can stop worrying about that whole mess and can concentrate our energy on the Phil Spector trial. Where does he get his hair done? Seriously, does anyone have the number to his hair dresser?

Got to eat and then party. Hearty.

Dig?

Blogging From Swish - BUI

Einz, Zwei, Drei...Laughensie

You vill laugh now. Nein? Okay zen, ve vill try to laugh togezer. Open ze mouth, push air out. Yell at ze person who made you mad today, and zen, vile yelling, try to smile. Now you are halfway to laughing. Das ist gut! That is gut for today. See you tomorrow.

How did that seem to you? I'm thinking of applying for a job as a Professor of Laughter--only problem is I'd have to relocate to Germany, where a laugh institute just opened up. Apparently Germans and happiness don't naturally go together.

According to a 2005 health survey published this week by DAK, a German health insurer, the number of people diagnosed with depression in Berlin has risen 70 percent since 1997.

A study of 90,000 working Berliners revealed that while 10 percent fewer people took sick leave from work in the past year, some 12 percent of those who stayed home did so because they were suffering from depression and panic attacks. Mental problems are therefore the top reason for absence from work, well ahead of other health issues.


Ahhhh yes, Germany. This story takes me back to the summer of 1989, when a young Laura Swisher traipsed through Europe visiting all her foreign acquaintances, from Spain to Holland to...okay, maybe it was just Holland and Germany. I don't recall. Anyway, I definitely remember traipsing. Germany comprised the first leg of my lil' vacation. I flew into Frankfurt where I didn't know a soul, and the German people welcomed me to their country the way Americans welcome mimes on our streets--with suspicion and a hint of disdain. So, yeah, a laugh school would probably help.

The point I'm really trying to make is that I went to Berlin the last summer before the infamous wall came down. And I visited East Berlin, on the other side of the wall, and paddled in a boat on a stream/river with East Germans, along with my West German friend, Sabine. They were cool, the East Germans. My friend was borderline cool, but being German she couldn't completely unwind and have a good time. And by "have a good time" I mean she refused to do heroin with me and go on a wilding spree in the park. I kid. Women can't wild.

After Germany (Berlin & Bielifeld) I headed to gay Paris and ended up hanging out with Italians. A Moroccan man tried to seduce me on the metro. An old man on the sidewalk smiled at me and said, "Quelle cherchez vous?", or something like that, when I was reading a map. What are you looking for? And he gave me directions.

Now my point is that there are more smiles in France than in Germany. And if I were to go on to describe my hot summer nights in Sardinia, I'd have to say there were more smiles there than in Paris or all of Germany. I met a boy, sweet as can be. We went strolling, drank lemonade. Oh...those Sardinian nights.

Did any of this make sense? Probably not.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Blogging From Weezy - MJ Fan Rage

I can almost certainly promise that this will be my last blog concerning the Michael Jackson trial. But before we move on, I feel compelled to share how my involvement in this event has placed me on the radar screen of an “emotionally questionable fringe societal element.” (this is fancy talk for “crazy folk.”) I am currently a Court TV Message Board thread, http://boards.courttv.com/ which features this entry from an individual called Peye:

peye

Senior Member

Registered: Jun 2005
Location: ca
Posts: 152

I think Louise Palanker is an opportunist. One of my friends who is disabled and ill, contacted her and asked for help and she did't even respond! So much for being kind and generous. She only helps those who can make publicity for her. JMO

For those who don’t speak “Message Board,” JMO, means “Just My Opinion." And opinions are just like... (me running in fear)

peye

Senior Member

Registered: Jun 2005
Location: ca
Posts: 152

Does anyone here know the phone number of Louise Palanker? I want to tell her she is a fraud. What do you have to do or to be in order to get Palanker's assitance? She doesn't care for simple people without publicity hype. JMO.

Gratefully, the next poster took up for me:

anne37

Senior Member

Registered: Feb 2005
Location:
pasadena, CA
Posts: 293

Palanker has known the boy for seven years. BEFORE he had cancer and before he had the misfortune of meeting MJ. If MJ is such a good person then why does he create so much negative energy? Why are people always accusing him of molestation, Sorry, but good people don't have so much negative karma.

I’m not sure what Peye thought she read, but this is how she responded:

peye

Senior Member

Registered: Jun 2005
Location: ca
Posts: 152

I agree, Palanker has VERY negative karma. She will soon be exposed as a fraud she is. JMO

Then Anne37 shot back with this:

anne37

Senior Member

Registered: Feb 2005
Location:
pasadena, CA
Posts: 293

You're just angry becasue the little kid gave MJ a b*tch slapping he'll never forget. The little kid stood up for himself. Good for him!!!!


MJ has access to almost anybody in the world, and who does he hang out with? Slimy porn producers.

To which Peye jumped in with:

peye

Senior Member

Registered: Jun 2005
Location: ca
Posts: 152

IS Louise Palanker the porn producer? I didn't know that. But I believe you

Huh? What just happened? Thank gosh for Inkster:

Inkster

Senior Member

Registered: May 2005
Location:
Posts: 138

I don't believe that Louise Palanker has ever met MJ. She is a comedian -
Since you think MJs so great - have you contacted him for help for your sick relative?

Hey, Thanks, Inkster.

peye
Senior Member

Registered: Jun 2005
Location: ca
Posts: 152

Great post. Now we all see how cleverly Louse Palanker used this poor boy for her gain and publicity. Now everone know her little wicked comedy show. JMO.

Hey, don’t you dare accuse me of being clever! Gratefully, Toodly jumped in with this pithy retort:

Toodly

Member

Registered: Apr 2005
Location:
california
Posts:

Hmm, well in my opinion, Palanker helped a little boy that she knew and loved long before he ever met Michael Jackson and long before she knew that anyone would even find out about it.

In fairness, I need to report that “Toodly” was me defending myself. Yeah, I can play that way. Peye countered with this:

peye

Senior Member

Registered: Jun 2005
Location: ca
Posts: 162

Do you work for Lousie Palanker? Why are you defending that fraud so zealously?

Uh oh. Help me, Janet T.:

Janet T.

Senior Member

Registered: Apr 2005
Location:
Posts: 1050

Do you work for Michael Jackson? Why are you defending that fraud so zealously? Just my opinion.

And finally, a little window opens into the dark soul of Peye:

peye

Senior Member

Registered: Jun 2005
Location: ca
Posts: 152

Well I wish I worked for some major celebrity. I am tired of being nobody, some working nobody abused by elite. And rich frauds like Palanker and Masada couldn't care les for us, working decent people. JMO

Gee, Peye, I’m sorry I was so sarcastic earlier in this blog. I promise that I will try harder to understand you and your anger and I will practice tolerance and forgiveness and look upon you with an open heart and a loving gaze.

peye
Senior Member

Registered: Jun 2005
Location: ca
Posts: 165

I have a strong belief that this fraud Louise Palanker helped Masada and Co create hype around this poor Hispanic boy, who they used to promote their own pathetic enterprises and that's disgusting! JMO Please vist Palanker's website
http://louisepalanker.com/
palanker@gmail.com
and write her a letter which will tell the whole truth. JMO

Just as soon as I build my moat.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Podcast 2 playback issues

I have received reports saying that the download was doing weird things about 40 minutes into the program. This is being changed now, so try re-downloading the program at 2PM PST.

Thanks

Update: Problem was resolved, dowload away!

Weezy and The Swish podcast 002



by Matt Hartley on Sun 19 Jun 2005 06:30 AM PDT

Improvements across the board - podcast 002!



It took us that first time to get it right, but I must say that podcast number two is immensely improved over our first one. Higher sound quality, fluid show content, some new podcast games that involve Swedish chicks, comic books, young Italian guys and craigslist.

I just can't get over the sound improvements!
In all seriousness though, it actually sounds like I am sitting there with Weezy and Laura in the studio! Just as importantly, you will find that I am a more active participant this time around too (once we get past the MJ 'stuff', anyway).

The game with craigslist is hysterical! The idea and content behind this game proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Laura is more than a little wacko. This is funny stuff that you'll never hear anywhere else - trust me.

In total honesty, this is one of the best podcasts that I have heard to date by anyone (non-tech related of course). Bold statement? Yes it is, but I have to say that we rocked in just about every sense possible. I am so proud of podcast #2 that I am coming apart at the seams!

It was like listening to three audio-based ninjas crafting the perfect show. No awkward moments, no audio mishaps, very entertaining, funny, serious when appropriate, and descriptive in all the right places.

God, I am learning so much! And I am also feeling like we are getting used to what the other person is going to be doing next. Best of all, our numbers are rising, too. People are blogging about us, and emailing our podcast to their friends. This is very exciting for me as it is playing a part in my 'Project Podcast' thingy. Oh, and we finally figured out that trying to keep us bound to 30 minutes per show was not going to happen. We are now a 60 minute show.


Show note links:
craigslist
Tiki Bar sketch comedy
TWIT
Systm (misspelled on purpose)

by Matt Hartley on Sun 19 Jun 2005 03:46 AM PDT

Saturday, June 18, 2005

One fan's favorite quote...

Swisher fan Jim-Bob said...

Hey Swish, just listening to your podcast for the second time, and this is my favorite quote so far:

"I'm trying to do a serious news story about Jesus in a potato chip, and you're making Jeb Bush jokes." ~Laura Swisher

Also,
"Weezy: I think that we all see the Lord in everything that's beautiful.

The Swish: I don't.

Weezy: Oh, okay, well, Erik and Matt and I see the Lord everywhere we want to see him...depending on where the sun was and how much I had smoked."

Ah, I love it! Keep having the comedy magic, and I hope you get picked for the big-ay oppurtuni-tay! Good luck!

I am thrilled that you folks are enjoying this.

We will be recording episode 2 later today and should have it up Monday. I believe that we are going to be implementing some new ideas as well, but we'll have to see how that turns out.

Remember, you can subscribe via email or as a podcast feed in ipodder/doppler. See you soon!

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Blogging From Weezy - Media Frenzy - KFI, John and Ken

Friday at 5:00 pm, I will be on KFI-640 am with John and Ken. I am going to take these guys on, toe to toe, blow to blow... no wait, they agree with me. They are outraged at the verdict in the Michael Jackson case, which Juror #1 probably should have researched before he placed this call...

http://www.johnandkenshow.com/

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Blogging From Weezy - Media Frenzy

If you've been following my wildly peripheral involvement in the Michael Jackson trial than you know that yesterday, I was bumped from the Greta Van Someone show in favor of actual news. But don't panic. The media frenzy surrounding me based soley on my limitted involvement with key figures in the Michael Jackson case is not quite over yet. Today, Pat Lalama from Celebrity Justice came over and turned my living room into a television studio. We sat and talked like the best friends we've been ever since we met yesterday during the post-verdict media fest at a satellite news studio facility in Palms. So, that episode of "CJ," should be airing tomorrow night and my interview might also become a segment on Extra. I'm only telling you this because people become irrate when I let stuff air without telling them. By "people," I mean "Mom." I'm hoping this appearance leads to more hate mail, from people besides Mom. To read my hate mail, go to http://www.louisepalanker.com

Tonight I am entered in a comedy contest. I hate comedy contests. I enterred this because I was grateful that Dante, the guy who runs the room had booked the kids I teach in July. The kids are performing at Sprinbok on Wednesday, July 6th. So, now I'm procrastinating when I should be getting ready to go to the comedy contest. I hate comedy contests. I hope this one isn't being judged by the Michael Jackson jury. So, how have you been?

Always nice to be seen

In addition to a number of blogs that are linking to us right now...


Thanks to natedogg at Kevin Rose's digg.com

digg.com

And thanks to the Webmaster of TechTV Forever. I appreciated the warm welcome to me personally and the posting regarding our podcast as well.

TechTVForever.net


Man, I am beginning to think that this is going to spread pretty quickly. This is great and I would like to thank all of you who are visiting and linking to us.

Right now, I am seeing the aftershock of the direct MP3 link over at Lockergnome as my server is getting stomped big time (although the Blogware counter seems to have stopped working as of yesterday). This new traffic is definitely a good thing though. It shows me that people are digging what we have to offer. Cool.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Blogging From Weezy

I am very proud of Laura and Matt for their contributions to a great podcasting debut. I was not able to listen to it until very recently.

I've been doing a lot of press since the verdict in the Michael Jackson Trial which we will discuss in greater detail in our next podcast. I was a prosecution witness in this trial because I am a friend of the young accuser's. With the gag order lifted, I felt that the time had come for me to speak up for a wonderful and heroic boy. You may be excited to learn that based on this decision, the quality and intensity of the hate mail I'm receiving has risen impressively. One thoughtful hater is suggesting that I might like to suck on a mule's ass?... Worth a thought. Another fine gentlemen warns me that all Jews like me will soon die? I'm certain that Michael Jackson, a God-like ambassador of peace and love is warmed to include Nazis into his fan fold.

I listened to the entire Weezy and The Swish show last night at about 3:00 am and I actually laughed out loud, so it must be funny, since I already heard it while we were recording it.


If you have any interest in my bout with infamy, so far, I've been on Anderson Cooper (he's a hottie), Paula Zahn (probably more Matt's type) and Catherine Crier (something for all of us) It's a joke. My heart belongs to D.A. Ron Zonen...

Let's see, today I was scheduled for Greta Van Something (sorry I don't know how to pronounce or spell Sustren) which is on the Fox News, but I was suddenly called by George of Fox News who told me that Greta has decided to cancel me and focus her show tonight on the missing girl in Aruba. I feel that Greta has made a wise choice.

Back to me... Tomorrow I'll be interviewed for Celebrity Justice. Oh, and the 48 Hours I taped may air soon.

As for being swept into a swirl of media frenzy following a high profile child molestation trial? I can't say it's for everyone, but I have found it to be very enlightening. I'm meeting a lot of interesting people, fighting against rage and disillusionment and having make-up applied by strangers.

Monday, June 13, 2005

More stuff still coming to the site

I will be adding bios, etc later on...

Podcast episode #1!


Laura sums up the show better than I could. So I am going to just steal her words on the subject:

Post #1 on the Podcast:

Saturday I went into the studio with Weezy and we recorded the first podcast. She's got pics of said event at flickr and possibly her website. I don't have the addresses for either at present but a quick Google search should yield results. The first two hours of the initial podcast were spent figuring out how to hook everything up correctly. We had Matt Hartley calling in from Washington and we could hear him but he couldn't hear us, and there was a lot of talk of input and output and sound engineer kind of stuff. But after a couple hours we were off and running.

I don't know how it turned out, but I can say I had a fun time recording it. Weezy and I amused ourselves and will hopefully amuse others who check it out. Subjects we touched upon: Testifying in the MJ trial, My BIG audition (could go absolutely nowhere), Flying body parts, Henry Winkler's fondness for me (word on the street is he likes me), Steve Jobs, Potato Chip Jesus and a bunch of other stuff. There were many tangents. I think it might go up in a few days, but I'm not doing any of the technical stuff so it depends on others.


Post #2 on the Podcast

I listened to a half hour of Weezy and The Swish today and I didn't cringe all that much, which surprised me. For the first one, I liked it. The second half hour may have tanked. I'm not sure. The one thing I'd change is the sound level on my mic. Weezy's voice is a lot louder than mine. I shouldn't be surprised, however, because we recorded the show in her studio. She probably told the engineer to muffle my voice. And of course I noticed certain things I do that bother me, which is good. I'll be able to correct for them.

And Weezy posts the show to her site as well.

Judging from the email I received from her, I think she was pleased. Here's the link to her site.

Music is generously provided by the The Cowsills.
You can pick up their CD 'Global' at this Web store.


by Matt Hartley on Mon 13 Jun 2005 08:17 PM PDT

Design, podcast and other really cool stuff coming soon!

by Matt Hartley on Mon 13 Jun 2005 07:31 AM PDT

Louise (Weezy) Palanker - Show Host
Laura Swisher - Show Host
Matt Hartley - Show Co-host/Co-producer
Eric Caver - Production Supervisor
The Cowsills - Musical support
(The Cowsills are the real-life inspiration for The Partridge Family. Wild, huh?)

We will be doing a new show each week.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Laura Swisher



After being described by LA Weekly as “cute,” television personality and comedian Laura Swisher realized she had finally broken through an important barrier. “As an artist and as a woman,” says Laura, “It’s deeply fulfilling when a television critic sees past your innate creativity and notices your outside beauty. Too often in this industry women are only seen as 'funny' or 'important,' so it’s refreshing to finally be taken seriously for my looks.”

Raised in Tucson, AZ, Laura moved to Los Angeles soon after graduating from college. She initially tried her hand at selling books in Santa Barbara, but realized Los Angeles was a better fit, and became a publicist. When that career bored her, she quit and started doing stand-up, telling herself she’d only do it for a little while. She lied.

Within a year of quitting PR she landed her first TV appearance on the show “Destination Stardom.” Soon after that she was invited to the Chicago Comedy Festival, where a lot of important people gave her business cards. Other shows followed, including Comedy Central’s “Premium Blend," NBC’s “Last Comic Standing,” where she was a semi-finalist in its first season, and Oxygen’s “Girls Behaving Badly.”

But it was a failed “Card Sharks” audition that led her to co-host the national late night talk show “Unscrewed…with Martin Sargent.” “I got a call out of the blue from this producer who remembered how amazing I was at turning cards over,” says Laura. Two weeks later Laura found herself living in San Francisco.

Unscrewed…with Martin Sargent,” a show that explored the often-controversial realms of Internet culture, proved to be a natural fit, giving Laura the opportunity to write and produce segments that reflected her skewed and somewhat-darker comedic sensibilities. “I pitched a hilarious segment that involved reenacting some of the more shocking photos to emerge from the Abu Ghraib prison scandal,” says Laura. “And I was sure the producers would nix the idea, unable to see the potential for humor in gross human rights violations. To my amazement, they let me go ahead with it.” For eighteen months Laura entertained technophiles across the country as a Co-host, writer and segment producer on “Unscrewed.”

As a stand-up comic, Laura has performed all throughout Los Angeles, including The Improv and The Laugh Factory. During her time in San Francisco she performed at UC Berkeley, San Francisco State, The Punchline, San Jose Improv and other venues throughout the Bay Area. She continues to perform stand-up on a regular basis.

Before becoming a huge television star, she taught stand-up comedy at the Boys & Girls Club in Burbank and wrote articles for The WB’s website.

After "Unscrewed", it's possible you may have seen her on "Living with Fran," "E! 50 Steamiest Southerners" and a national commercial. Or you may have bumped into her in Austin for SXSW, where she hosted the Web Awards. There's no doubt you'll be seeing a lot more of her in the future.

Louise Palanker



Louise Palanker is an accomplished writer/producer/performer in the arenas of radio, television, stage and stand-up comedy. As Senior VP of Creative and co-founder of Premiere Radio Networks, the nation's largest radio syndicator and a division of Clear Channel Communications, Louise wrote, produced, performed in and/or executive produced over 20 programs and services for Premiere Radio while overseeing a large staff of talented writers, producers, engineers and performers.

The company was founded in 1986 by Louise and three partners with $30,000 seed money. Premiere went public in 1992, trading on the NASDAQ exchange. Early in 1997, Louise and her partners sold Premiere to Clear Channel for $185 million. Prior to forming Premiere, Louise was a writer and segment producer for PM Magazine and then spent three years as head writer for Rick Dees' syndicated radio show, "The Weekly Top 40."

After leaving Premiere in 2000, Louise launched a charitable foundation dedicated to benefiting children's causes. She began a stand-up comedy program at Los Angeles Boys & Girls' Clubs and the Santa Barbara Jewish Federation where kids learn to write and perform comedy. The advanced class now performs every Saturday night at Hallenbeck's in North Hollywood, California and at special shows in Santa Barbara.

Louise produces "Comedy Nights," stand-up comedy shows in and around Southern California, including a weekly Thursday night show in Santa Barbara , California at Bricks Café.

She is currently directing and producing documentaries, one about the famed 60s family pop band, The Cowsills and another featuring the stories of Holocaust Survivors. Louise produced a Fritz Coleman hit one-man play, and she has been developing a television pilot with Henry Winkler.

With co-hosts Diane Dimond and Professional Mediator Lee Jay Berman, Louise hosts a weekly pod-cast called "Talk it Over" that deals with resolving conflicts. It can be heard at talkitoverradio.com

and on iTunes. Louise performs stand-up comedy at clubs in and around Southern California.

And she has written and published a young adult novel called "Journals" which is available on on Amazon.com.

Thank you for reading this far, especially if you are not Louise's Mom.

For more information please visit Weezy's personal website: LouisePalanker.com.

Further reading
Adventures in Life and Comedy
"Journals" - on Amazon
Louise on YouTube
Louise on MySpace

Matt Sigman



Happily married with two children.

Employed by Premiere Radio Networks as a Staff Engineer.

B.A. (1992) Radio and Television Production and Management, California State
University, Northridge



Further reading
Matt at MySpace

About The Show

Photo taken by Ian Broyles.

"Weezy," Louise Palanker, founded The Premiere Radio empire which was bought out by Clear Channel. "The Swish," Laura Swisher co-hosted a late-night talk show on Tech TV and has been on VH-1 and Comedy Central. Together they form Weezy & The Swish, a weekly talk show reminiscent of the MacNeil Lehrer Report, minus the journalism. Weezy and The Swish are two stand-up comedians with a fiery spirit, a podcast and a dream. Please, step in and laugh at that dream before they get too carried away.



 

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