Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Blogging from The Swish - Orange County Racist? Nooooo...

by The Swish on Wed 27 Jul 2005 02:13 PM PDT

So last night I had a set in Orange County and it was one of the most interesting nights in comedy I've had in a while. Because it was my first time performing at this particular venue, I stayed the entire show. I sat through twenty comics. Twenty. That's A LOT of comics to sit through.

Nevertheless, it was oddly fascinating. Aside from a couple of women and a couple of Hispanics, all the comics were straight, white males--my friend Guy notwithstanding. How do I know they were either straight and/or in the closet? Because every comic had a gay joke (or two) to prove it. Jokes like, "I'm anally celibate. And by that I don't mean I'm anal retentive about celibacy, I mean I'm anally celibate." Get it? He doesn't have anal sex?! Here's another. "I write poetry. Just because someone writes poetry doesn't mean their gay. Now, if you write poetry with a c**k in your mouth, you're gay." Tee hee! By the way, I followed that guy on stage. My opening line was, "I write poetry with a c*** in my mouth and I'm not gay." In the comedy biz, that's called "pandering to the audience." I got a huge laugh. Cheers, in fact. For the record, though, the statement wasn't true. I don't write poetry.

But I digress.

I was mostly fascinated by the racism. Obviously, as a comic, I hear a lot of racist humor. When I need a good fix of it, I can head to the Comedy Store and get some. In LA, though, the racism is usually in the form of a pointed joke. I might not personally think it's funny, but I can at least see where others might. Or I can at least see what the comic's attempting to do.

Last night was different. I heard jokes that were both corny AND racist at the same time. Like if you took out the racist element, it would be the kind of joke where you'd roll your eyes and think to yourself, "This guy should keep his day job." But when you throw the racist element in, the joke takes on a whole other dimension. I can't tell you how many times my jaw dropped last night. Guy and I would look at each other like, "Did he just say what I think he said?" It was awesome.

I'm kicking myself that I didn't record the other comics. Here's my favorite joke of the entire evening. The guy was in his late forties, early fifties. He wore ill-fitted jeans (a common theme throughout the night), an Angels t-shirt and sneakers. Here it is:
I was telling my buddy that my wife is a big complainer. She never runs out of things to complain about. He goes, "A real nagger, huh?" No. She's a short white woman, about this tall.

Here's the kicker: This guy is a SCHOOL PRINCIPAL in Orange County.

I heard "dirty Mexican" bandied about. The context, "I could by oranges from a dirty Mexican." That part was a riff, with no actual joke attached to it. Someone talked about being really disoriented, as if on drugs or something, and the only thing he could compare it to were Asian drivers. There was also a punch line delivered with the obligatory Asian accent, "Why you no..."

The trip was eye-opening. To be fair, there were some girls at the next table who seemed shocked at some of the stuff that was said.

Hopefully no one from the show will stumble on this page. Also, many of the comics were really nice. A lot of them came up to me to say they liked my set. One of them invited me to do his room, which I plan to do if he emails me.

And I'll be doing the show again next month. Hopefully I'll remember to tape some stuff (for my own personal use, of course). I should point out, however, that there were some people who made me laugh last night.

Okay, all for now.

Blogging From Weezy - News From Abroad... who is in Europe

by Louise Palanker on Wed 27 Jul 2005 12:35 PM PDT

We are currently sailing from St. Petersburg, Russia to Helsinki, Finland. It is 12:00 in the evening and I am on a floating hot bed of social activity. The show just let out, A Singing and Dancing Salute to American Pop and the ship is abuzz with partiers mingling in a collage of languages, and spilling into the Coffee @ com Internet cafe where I sit typing this blog.

The man occupying the computer across from me keeps tapping the table assertively, throwing his hands up in disgust, nodding adamantly and emitting guttural noises. He is either a) day trading b) engaged in an instant message dispute or c) downloading porn. Wait, he just chuckled aloud and gestured wildly as if to grab my attention. The answer is d) ordering online for a drink to be sent over to me.

I confess that I am happy to be leaving Russia. St. Petersburg, although stunning in spots is also sad and dreary in many ways. We saw magnificent palaces, museums and churches, along with worn, neglected neighborhoods, sour people, and despair.

Russian history is fascinating. It was very dangerous to be a member of the royal family. Most stories tell of how happy and productive some Tsar was until he was murdered. For the Tsarinas, the fate is slightly less harsh. They get sent to a nunnery.

Today we saw the palace where Rasputin was enjoying a lovely meal until he was murdered. This was interesting to me for two reasons. 1) I've read a lot about Russian history and 2) I learned that if someone does not let you into the main house, but only brings you down to the basement, don't eat the snacks. Rasputin, The Mad Monk, was poisoned and then shot and then shot again and then shoved into a river and any one of those things can ruin a dinner party.

The man accross from me is laughing again and attempting to make eye contact. I can see his screen name from here, so I'm going to close now so that I can I.M. him my room number... Hold on... more wild gesturing, a lean back in the chair and a loud Hmmmpphh. I'll save him for Laura.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Number problems

by Matt Hartley on Mon 25 Jul 2005 09:42 PM PDT

Just a quick FYI, for God knows what reason, iTunes and other services have decided to offer podcast #6 as #7.

Since they have already been published, it is going to take some work to trick them into thinking that #6 is #6- and that #7 is #6.

At any rate, please bear with me while I try to iron this out. Check back with iTunes, etc in about an hour. In the mean time, don't download anything till 11pm PST. Thanks

Podcast episode #7- Laura and Weezy explore testing for potential Chinese wives

Weezy and The Swish podcast 007 *this episode has been lost*

Listen to Laura chewing God knows what in your ear! After that, we have Weezy joining us through the wonders of teleportation and time travel. She reads more goodies from the Internet love letters and then both her and Laura offer their thoughts as to how they might translate into a real life situation. Later, Laura takes a stab at rapping to the ingredients of snack foods and recyclables. Plus, we have Laura and Weezy exploring testing possibilities for potential Chinese wives. All this and much more on Weezy and The Swish!

by Matt Hartley on Mon 25 Jul 2005 01:00 PM PDT

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Blogging From Weezy - News from Abroad... who is in Europe

by Louise Palanker on Sun 24 Jul 2005 02:23 PM PDT

I am traveling on a cruise ship through the Baltic Sea. We have most recently left the port city of Tallinn, Estonia and are currently sailing towards St. Petersburg, Russia. Estonia was under Danish rule in the 13th Century before it was sold to the Germans following a mid-14th Century insurrection. This did not bode well for the locals who suffered for centuries before finally winning back their independence in 1921, only to later come under Soviet rule after WWII. However, the revolutionary atmosphere following Glasnost fostered renewed independence for Estonia which now happily hosts cruise ships and markets overly priced ashtrays and shot glasses.

My brother, Craig and I hiked all over the beautiful little city of Tallinn and wandered into a magnificent Greek Orthodox Church in the middle of a gloriously traditional wedding. The bride and groom, bedecked in ancient ceremonial dress were being paraded in ritualistic circles as magnificent hymns floated up and echoed across the ornate cathedral ceilings. It was absolutely spectacular. I stood and watched in awe and wonder. And then, we turned quietly in reverence, walked down the church steps and being who we are, “I said to my brother, “She could do better.” And my brother said to me, “Do you think she had to get married?”

I don’t think people like us should be allowed to travel outside the country.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Weezy and The Swish - making a debut on BX Radio Network's Cool Cast Radio line-up

What's going on here?
The BX Radio Network is still being built from the ground up, however you can read all about it from this press release.

Now, I am sure that Weezy and Laura remember me saying that I was going to get the show plenty of press. Well, being part of the Internet's first podcast-only radio station is a pretty good place start I do believe!

Oh sure, there are a number of traditional radio stations that have converted to a podcast-only format over the airwaves. However, we are the first (to my knowledge) to provide a radio-like environment where people can tune into podcast content from their PCs thanks to a live audio stream. The podcast content will be part of the Cool Cast Radio brand. As time progresses, we may even looking at expanding beyond podcast content once things start to take off.

Indie Music Radio...
Having said this, KSSX has a great podcast format for indie bands that is definitely worth checking out. It is not a live stream, but rather a podcast ready set of MP3s that you can download at your leisure. I have been a fan for some time and love what they are doing.

As for the BX Radio Network, there is a very good chance that we will expand into this area someday. We'll have to wait and see. If we did, it would be with streaming content. I want to make sure that we are different. There is no interest in simply copying others.

Moving on...
Ever since I first heard that most podcasts are being listened to via the family PC and not portable MP3 players, teaming up with the folks at BX Internet to start this project just made sense to me. Think about it. Being able to either look up a particular show that we offer on a schedule or just randomly starting up the Windows Media Player to see what you stumble upon - there is a great potential for audio content discovery here.

I would also like to thank all of you who will be listening once we launch in September and give a special thanks to Laura's mom for introducing me to Peter Yanke of BX Internet in the first place.

Become a Beauty and The Geek Contestant!

Chris had an odd voicemail here the other day from the WB Network. While I am not interested (long story involving my ex and one particular talk show), I thought I would pass this opportunity on to you folks, our listeners...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Blogging From Weezy - Preparing For Liftoff

by Louise Palanker on Wed 20 Jul 2005 02:07 PM PDT

Tomorrow I will leave American soil with my eye set on the Nordic horizon. My sister and I will fly to Paris and then Stockholm from where we will set sail for the picturesque ports of Helsinki, Astoria, St. Petersburg and Copenhagen. I will be attempting to blog from the ship and while the rest of the blogosphere is urgently discussing important topics such as the John Roberts Judicial appointment, and Karl Rove's FBI dealings, I will be blathering about my personal, trivial, travel amusements. So, if your brain is too full of useful information, check in often for a refreshing load of fluff.

Note to neighborhood robbers: My seven attack dogs have tested positive for both Herpes and Rabies. They are also trained marksmen and fully armed.

Monday, July 18, 2005

3,000 unique site visitors thus far this month and 28 Podcast votes!

by Matt Hartley on Mon 18 Jul 2005 10:08 PM PDT

So far this month, we are seeing around 3,000-ish site visitors this month and 1,200-ish podcast listeners (80% of which who do not use our RSS feed, but that is cool). And out of all these people, 28 people have voted at Podcast Alley? Wow, that is just silly!

In fairness, I understand that Podcast Alley is down more than up these days, but please keep trying! Even if you think you have already voted, try again to make sure. If you have already voted, Podcast Ally will alert you to this without any issues.

I want all of us to dethrown the current kings and queens of Podcast comedy. If every person here would take 2 minutes and do this, we might very well make the top 25 by the end of this month - no joke. Please, vote today.

Podcast episode #6 - The death of Kimmy Gibbler!

Weezy and The Swish podcast 006 *this episode has been lost*

In this episode, Weezy and Laura explore Victorian love letters, identity theft, toying around with commercials, plus a whole lot more! (Voicemails are featured in next week's show)

Related links:
-The love letters-
-The cruise ship story-

by Matt Hartley on Mon 18 Jul 2005 12:42 AM PDT

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Blogging from The Swish - Get Out of My Country

Blogging from The Swish - Get Out of My Country
That's what I told my so-called friend and Co-host Louise Palanker after she maligned me publicly, calling my character into question. I've been shaking with rage all day and it is only now that I can respond.

First of all, Weezy claims I downed a Coke in "minutes." Weezy, try an hour. I drank the Coke in the course of an hour. Then she points out that we had to interrupt the podcast because I "had to go to the bathroom." That's true; however, I fail to see what bearing the size of my bladder has on the quality (or lack thereof) of our show. I have a small bladder. That means I'll go to the bathroom more often than others will. But most people don't hold it against me. Weezy seems to think it matters and that saddens me.

To be fair, Weezy did have to print a few pages out for me because I'd run out of ink. Weezy, I will pay you whatever the cost of the ink I may have used. I will also bring you ten blank sheets of paper to replenish the ones I used. It won't happen again.

She implies it took a great deal of energy to act "civil" towards me while we recorded TWO podcasts. I should point out that it takes a lot of energy on my part to carry the show as I do. But I do it anyway because I want the show to be a success. Do I mention to her how hard it is for me to carry the show? No. I don't. I say, "How are you?" "Weezy, how is your week going?" See? I try to be pleasant.

And for all this, all I get is vitriol. So today I called her up and told her to get out of my country. I said she shouldn't come back until she thought long and hard about her recent post. Also, she should bring me a gift from where ever she goes by way of apology. If I like the gift, I will accept the apology.

I'll keep everyone up to date as the feud develops.

Blogging From Weezy - Twice The Tension

by Louise Palanker on Sun 17 Jul 2005 12:58 PM PDT

On Saturday, The Swish and the two Matts and I set out on our quest to record two podcasts in a row, per the suggestion of "Seaners" in order that Part 2 might be banked to allow for my summer travel plans.

It sounded like a good idea in theory. However, in practice, (And I don't mean to soil your pristine image of The Swish) the girl can down herself some buckets of fluids. I hand her a long neck coke and she's sucked it up in under a minute. Moments later, she has to go to the bathroom. I understand that hydration is important while podcasting in an air conditioned room but good gosh. On top of which, her printer is "broken" so she emailed an attachment of all her "notes" to me and it was my job to upload the file and print them out for her.

The sense of entitlement is just staggering. And now I have to sit in a room and be "civil" to her for over two hours. You want me to be civil, Laura Swisher, than next time why don't you show up with a six pack of coke, a ream of paper and a couple rolls of Charmin. How about that? …..

OK, so you can see what I'm doing here... I'm attempting to insight a "mock catty squabble" between The Swish and I so that we can create heat and improve ratings. Let's watch and wait and see how she responds. I just know she'll have something pithy and scathing. She may even attack portions of my personal character and/or my appearance. This should be lots of fun, so stick close, wait for the heat to hit, and remember to side with me.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Things that make me go DUH!

by Matt Hartley on Sat 16 Jul 2005 05:08 AM PDT

Figured out the iTunes problem, I was missing something REALLY obvious. First off, here is the URL if you wish to subscribe via iTunes.
Everything is set and proper.

Once you subscribe to us via Apple iTunes, right click on the podcast and choose 'Rate'. The more of you that do this the higher up the list we will go. See you Monday!

(Also, if you receive any errors or are not able to download episode #5, please let me know in the comments area of this post.)

Friday, July 15, 2005

How to save instant message conversations

by Matt Hartley on Fri 15 Jul 2005 09:32 PM PDT

As you can see here, Weezy has asked for your IM conversations to be contributed to us for our own little evil purposes. With this in mind, some people have asked me how to do this. Well, here is the easy way...

Here is a good place to start if you are using MSN messenger:
Here's the link

And for you AIM (AOL) users, you could use this free program called Dead AIM:

Here's the link

Thanks guys!

Blogging From Weezy - Actually, it's a plea

by Louise Palanker on Fri 15 Jul 2005 01:24 PM PDT

I would like to introduce a new feature on Weezy and the Swish which we will call "I.M. Theatre." If you have experienced an interesting and/or invigorating I.M. discussion with a friend/co-worker/lover/adversary/all of the above, recently and it is saved somewhere on your computer, please email it to us at, or just click on that button to your left which reads "email us." Laura and I will theatrically perform your I.M. chat. Read that to mean, we will enthusiastically overact it. So, please embarrass yourself and a loved one by sending us your I.M.s. And, thank you.

The Weezy and The Swish custom iPodder

by Matt Hartley on Fri 15 Jul 2005 11:02 AM PDT

OK, so what the heck is this thing (see right side of this page)? Well, it is a software program that runs on your computer in order to secretly transmit microwaves deep inside your brain. Once they have taken full effect, you will feel an uncontrollable urge to download as much Weezy and The Swish as you possibly can.

Seriously though, iPodder will download each new episode of Weezy and The Swish for you automatically each Monday! There is one catch though, folks. You have to set the scheduler to do this for you.

Don't freak out, it is super easy to do. After the program is installed, keep or remove the other included podcasts that you want from the selection. Then, roll your cursor over the icons until you see 'Scheduler'. Set the darn thing like you were setting up your alarm clock. Then presto! That's it! Each Monday the show will automatically be downloaded to your 'My Received Podcasts' folder located in 'My Documents'.

It really is that easy! If you are familiar with iPodder, you can set it up to sync with iTunes or Windows Media player. Try it, mess with the settings, try clicking stuff. Not to worry, you won't break anything. Remember, your cursor can tell you what a button does by moving it over the icon of your choice. Enjoy!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

23% iTunes, folks!

by Matt Hartley on Thu 14 Jul 2005 12:33 PM PDT

First off, thanks to all of you for stopping by from TWIT (This Week in Tech)!

Like Leo and Pat, Weezy and Laura work hard each week to keep you entertained and intriged. But we really need your help in a few areas though. First off, try submitting our feed to iTunes as they are not acting very fast to get us on the list us over there. Having said this, I am blown away to see how 23% of our listeners are using iTunes to listen to us. That is so cool!

Additionally, please remember to vote for us each and every month. Don't remember if you have or not? Just try to vote and see if it goes through. If you already have, no harm done. You will just be alerted to this.

Thanks again!

Blogging From Weezy - Travel Ambivilance

by Louise Palanker on Thu 14 Jul 2005 01:31 AM PDT

The good news is that I'm going on a cruise with my family and that is, as well, the bad news. I have a complicated love/hate relationship with travel. We are going on a cruise to Sweden, Finland, Astoria, St. Petersburg and I think we wind up in Copenhagen. I should look at a map, at some point. I'm traveling with my two sisters, my brother, my nephew, my Mom and her boyfriend, Sydney the Kidney Doctor. My Mom will be the only one hooking up on this cruise. Sad or funny? You decide.

So, my love/hate relationship with travel? Garden variety travel is great. Road trips? I love it. Hop in a car and move. It's beautiful. But, embarking on 15-20 hours of air travel which finds you arriving, in a fatigue educed stupor with no sense of Barings and the crushing reality that it will be ten days before you are once again safely within the fold of familiar surroundings? Unsettling.

So, that's the hate part. On to the love. When I return, I will have seen St. Petersburg and I, being of Russian decent, should visit the land of my forefathers, should I not? Go ahead and answer out loud. I'll know. When I return, I will post lovely travel pics on my photo blog and, when I return, I will enjoy a sense of accomplishment and a renewed appreciation for American toilet paper.

So, there will be no Weezy and The Swish program for ten days and then we will be back strong and we will want to hear about your summer vacations as well. And where you go doesn't matter. As long as you come back with some unidentifiable bites and mild thigh chafing it counts as Summer travel.

Happy Summer.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

A fast FYI - Voicemail

by Matt Hartley on Tue 12 Jul 2005 07:55 PM PDT

Looks like we are going to refrain from posting the voicemail that we receive and instead, use them in our future podcasts. So feel free to call, just don't think that we forgot about ya if it is not being posted here.

Blogging From Weezy - Why No Blog?

by Louise Palanker on Tue 12 Jul 2005 01:24 AM PDT

Bless me, Blogosphere for I have sinned. This is my first blog in over a week. I've been feeling very contemplative and not very chatty as of late. I'm still not sure what aspects of my personal life should be the stuff of blog. I am a very new blogger. So, new that this is the first time I have used the word "Blogosphere" in a sentence. I'm not even sure it's a proper nown.

Saturday night I went to my cousin Ben's Bar Mitzvah party. There were about 40 13 year old boys in attendence. The DJ played Thriller by Michael Jackson. That made me very sad. Nothing funny. Just sad.

I am venturing into several new bodies of business waters which are proving to be emotionally and otherwise challenging. (I'm not refering to this podcast because it has been nothing short of smooth and rewarding)

My brother broke his hand and I didn't call him enough to see how he's doing. (the cast just came off and he's begun physical theropy which is painful, in case you care as much as I should have)

Plus other stuff is on my mind which for sure is unbloggable. So, my silence will have to speak this week. It either makes me mysterious or boring.

Have you ever had an unbloggable week? How do you cope? Please help.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Blogging from Swish - (866) 758-6991

by The Swish on Mon 11 Jul 2005 01:14 PM PDT

If you get really bored, feel free to call up the voicemail to Weezy and The Swish. But why should you call up? Good question. Probably to help us get to the bottom of a serious poll. Ummmm, I just read about green evangelists, evangelists for the environment. They're behind the controversial website What Would Jesus Drive? I think that's a wonderful question to kick things off. Here's my answer: I think he'd drive a convertible 1999 Mazda Miata with a bumper sticker that read, "If you can read this you're too close" in the back. I can totally see him in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts and Birkenstocks driving along the PCH with his hair blowing behind him, former blind guy sitting next to him.

What do you think? Call , post your response or do both.

In other news, following the indirect advice of Weezy, I went out and got Cool Edit Pro so I can learn to do some sound editing. I can now add this program to all the others I want to learn--HTML, Photoshop and Dreamweaver. It's supposed to be really simple to use, very intuitive. I suspect it's probably very intuitive. And if I am, in fact, correct, it follows that I am the opposite of intuitive. Either that or I don't possess the same level of patience most technical folk do when tackling new projects. A good friend of mind is a self-taught computer consultant, very bright. His wife told me that he'd spend as much as six hours tinkering with a problem until he figured it out. I was blown away. I typically give up after fifteen minutes on a problem. Then again, it probably would have taken me much longer than six hours to figure out the same problem, but it put things in perspective for me.

All right, I've got to get back to learning all these wonderful things. Maybe in 10 years I'll have figured one of 'em out.

Podcast episode #5 - Revenge of the Swish!

Weezy and The Swish podcast 005 *this episode has been lost*

This week, listen to recorded stand up sets from real LA comedians. Also, Laura dives deep into the freaky world of future obituaries. All this and more on this week's installment of Weezy and The Swish!

And if you would like to hear yourself on the show, just call us toll free at (866) 758-6991. Questions, weird observations, whatever - we want to hear from you!

Here are two recent voicemails that we received today:
Voicemail #1

Voicemail #2

by Matt Hartley on Mon 11 Jul 2005 09:34 PM PDT

Podcast is coming along, just a little behind in the editing

by Matt Hartley on Mon 11 Jul 2005 08:52 AM PDT

Will have the podcast up by this evening. As you can see from this recent picture taken of me earlier, its been a long weekend.

Thanks for bearing with me.

Friday, July 8, 2005

Blogging from Swish - Laura Swisher: Def Poet

by The Swish on Fri 08 Jul 2005 01:00 PM PDT

Laura Swisher: Def Poet

Last night I discovered my next calling: Def Poet. I was roaming Barnes & Noble with Guy (lawyer Geek) and Dustin (English lit Geek) and Guy picked up a paperback of Def Poetry Jam poems. The idea was to read random poems with the same cadence and passion exhibited on the HBO show.

Well, that was too easy. I found I'm a natural. The next challenge was to grab random books outside the poetry section and attempt to make the words seem weighty and political. My discovery? Again, I'm a natural. I was able to read a recipe from a Santa Fe cookbook and make it sound like Lanston Hughes.

Doubt me if you must, but come next podcast I shall demonstrate my unique ability. If there's anything you want to hear Def Jaminated, let me know--perhaps I'll treat you to a reading.

Oh, I also bought season two of Dave Chapelle. Turns out I paid too much for it. Barnes & Noble not so great with DVD prices. Oh well.

Wednesday, July 6, 2005

Blogging From Weezy - Journey of Discovery, Enlightenment and Trespassing

I like to take my nephew, Jakey on adventures. Our mission is to discover something new. The adventures are getting increasingly exciting now that he’s eight. When he was two, the big discovery would be a cigar butt or a discarded sock. Now, we take off on Razor Scooter adventures. On the 4th of July, in Ojai, we headed off on the bike trails. We like to just keep going until we find something worth investigating. So we scooted until we came upon a sign which read: Krotona School of Theosophy. Our mission was now to discover the meaning of Theosophy, develop a deeper understanding of all of the world’s beliefs and snoop around until we were asked to leave.

So we followed the signs, climbing higher and higher and higher. This place was really tucked away. No one was stopping us. I told Jakey that when it comes to exploring, as long as you know you’re not hurting anybody, it is better to venture forth first and ask permission later… until someone starts shooting at you. But they didn’t shoot and we kept climbing.

We reached the top and discovered a beautiful vista, a school, a library, bungalows, a garden, fountains… no actual people with whom we could discuss the basic tenants of Theosophy. But we found brochures. And in the absence of actual Theosophists, brochures would do.

Here is what we learned. The Theosophical Society is concerned with: 1) The unity of all people; 2) The study of comparative religion, philosophy and science; and 3) The investigation of unexplained laws of nature and our latent powers. Theosophy holds that we are all one with each other and with life in the universe. We can not either harm or help another without harming or helping ourselves. We are all one.

This could explain why no one shot at us. So, I helped Jakey understand their belief that everything we do has a cause and effect relationship with the universe. Therefore, it would naturally follow that since we had climbed up this long, steep, curving, perfectly paved road, we would now get to scooter down it.

Thus we embarked on the most excellent scooter ride of our lives. Jakey led the way, helmet securely in place, laughing and screaming with joy the entire ride down. I followed behind, hearing the rushing whir of my scooter wheels and the peels of delight floating back to me from my nephew, telling me that he would remember this forever and that my sister must never know quite how fast we were going.

It was perfectly awesome. The laws of nature, karma, gravity, all colliding in a glorious rush down a perfectly paved, private road in Ojai. The day was capped by fireworks over the High School, which were too loud for Jakey.

But remember, he’s only eight and according to our newly discovered teachings of Theosophy: Our goal is to complete the cosmic cycle of manifestation with full conscious realization of ourselves, no longer polarized between consciousness and matter or divided into self and other, but unified within and united with all other beings through our common Source… which I interpret to mean: little kids should watch fireworks from inside the car with the windows up.

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Blogging from Swish - Happy July 1st & 4th

So I just got back from Big Bear this weekend. This was the trip that necessitated our taping the comedy cast on FRIDAY instead of SATURDAY. Weezy took the change particularly hard and sent out a really nasty email implying that I am a diva. Hey, I'm not the one who makes my gardeners sprinkle rose petals along the path leading to my front door. I don't even have gardeners. If something needs to be done around the house, I do it myself, unlike someone I know.

Ummm...for more, though not more interesting, information on my weekend at Big Bear, go check out

Since comedycast #4 went up earlier this week, we've been absolutely bombarded with emails from folks wanting to learn more about Canada Day. I had no idea the topic would resonate as much as it did. People are absolutely bonkers for Canada. So, because YOU asked for it, here's a brief article on the history of Canada Day:

Canada Day


On June 20, 1868, a proclamation signed by the Governor General, Lord Monck, called upon all Her Majesty's loving subjects throughout Canada to join in the celebration of the anniversary of the formation of the union of the British North America provinces in a federation under the name of Canada on July 1st.

The July 1 holiday was established by statute in 1879, under the name Dominion Day.

There is no record of organized ceremonies after this first anniversary, except for the 50th anniversary of Confederation in 1917, at which time the new Centre Block of the Parliament Buildings, under construction, was dedicated as a memorial to the Fathers of Confederation and to the valour of Canadians fighting in the First World War in Europe.

The next celebration was held in 1927 to mark the Diamond Jubilee of Confederation. It was highlighted by the laying of the cornerstone by the Governor General of the Confederation Building on Wellington Street and the inauguration of the Carillon in the Peace Tower.

Since 1958, the government has arranged for an annual observance of Canada's national day with the Secretary of State of Canada in charge of the coordination. The format provided for a Trooping the Colours ceremony on the lawn of Parliament Hill in the afternoon, a sunset ceremony in the evening followed by a mass band concert and fireworks display.

Another highlight was Canada's Centennial in 1967 when Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II attended the celebrations with Parliament Hill again being the backdrop for a large scale official ceremony.

The format changed in 1968 with the addition of multicultural and professional concerts held on Parliament Hill including a nationally televised show. Up until 1975, the focus of the celebrations, under the name "Festival Canada", was held in the National Capital Region during the whole month of July and involved numerous cultural, artistic and sport activities, as well as municipalities and voluntary organizations. The celebration was cancelled in 1976 but was reactivated in 1977.

A new formula was developed in 1980 whereby the National Committee (the federal government organization charged with planning Canada's Birthday celebrations) stressed and sponsored the development of local celebrations all across Canada. "Seed money" was distributed to promote popular and amateur activities organized by volunteer groups in hundreds of local communities. The same approach was also followed for the 1981 celebrations with the addition of fireworks displays in 15 major cities across the nation.

On October 27, 1982, July 1st which was known as "Dominion Day" became "Canada Day".

Since 1985, Canada Day Committees are established in each province and territory to plan, organize and coordinate the Canada Day celebrations locally. Grants are provided by the Department to those committees.

Isn't that adorable!?

The podcast actually receives a whole article!

Even if I was once again left out of the article (grrr), it is nice to see we are still being noticed.

Since I don't believe this particular article has already been shared, here it is...Oh, one other thing. I am still not too sure about this comment made later on in the article:

I’m sure it appeals more to women than men, but I will say that it is light-years ahead of
The View, which is nothing more than a bunch of uptight, wannabe lesbians who are consumed with anger towards men and the fact that they are necessary for conception.

Geez, not really sure that is what we were shooting for. While I am beginning to see that we are developing a serious female demographic, I am not all that thrilled about being compared with 'The View'.

I have been following Laura Swisher’s blog since she first started it. She is another TechTV/G4 merger cast-off, the co-host of the very funny show (RIP) Unscrewed with Martin Sargent. Her blog is very funny stuff, and frequently updated.

Laura has started a podcast project with Louise Palanker called Weezy and the Swish. New shows are released on no particular schedule just yet, and are generally free-form, humorously covering whatever current events these two decide to talk about.

The odd thing was, I had no idea who Louise Palanker was, but she looked awfully familiar. It wasn’t from her testimony in the Michael Jackson trial (she is a friend of the family who made the accusations), I just remembered seeing her picture somewhere else a long time ago.

Then as I browsed her bio page, it hit me. Louise Palanker was one of the founders of Premier Radio Networks, which was home of the Jim Rome Show, one of my favorite sports radio shows. Premier has since been sold to Clear Channel. [Read the rest]

Monday, July 4, 2005

Podcast #4 - Happy Canada Day and 4th of July!

Weezy and The Swish podcast 004

Recorded on Canada Day, Weezy, Laura and myself tackle important issues such as low dangling name tags, office romance, how to talk to women and even a verbal guide to secret handshakes! Definitely show unlike any other - it's Weezy and The Swish!

Oh, almost forgot! I need every one of you to make darn sure that you visit this link and vote for us at Podcast Alley. I don't think anyone even knew that we were over there since I myself totally forgot that I submitted our show a couple of weeks ago. So please, take a minute out of your day and vote for us. Seriously, a rank of #400 and something is just sad. I have the server reports that prove to me that we ought to in the top #50 at the very least.

(Thanks for the votes so far. We are now in the 100's and still moving forward! I am hoping to see some more voting take place after the holiday passes.)

by Matt Hartley on Mon 04 Jul 2005 06:45 AM PDT

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