Monday, September 26, 2005

Weezy and The Swish- episode 16

Weezy and The Swish podcast 16 *this episode has been found!*
(Recorded 9-24-05)

This week I am proud to present an interview that I very much would have liked to participated in had my schedule permitted: Laura and Weezy have the distinct pleasure of talking with the very lovely and talented Cecily Knobler. Those of you that stay up to date with the Hollywood scene have likely heard of her. She has a syndicated radio show in something like 60 markets in addition to working as an entertainment columnist for a number of publications. Not only that, but she is also a stand up comedian!

That's not all, folks. We also have an interview with Suresh Joachim, the man who personally holds 16+ Guinness book world records. His latest record was set to the tune of 69 hours and 48 minutes of television watching in one sitting. So join us as we dive into this week's installment of Weezy and The Swish!

by Matt Hartley on Mon 26 Sep 2005 06:24 PM PDT

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Got board?

Feeling bored? Into chatting with Laura and Weezy fans? Then have I got a deal for you! OK, maybe not so much a 'deal', but since one of our Weezy and The Swish disciples got tired of waiting for me to get around to offering some message boards, he took the bull by the horns and did something about it! Enter Weezy and The Swish - the forums.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Weezy and The Swish- episode 15

Weezy and The Swish podcast 15 *this episode has been found!*

Holy cow, Laura has a job! Yes folks, Swisher has rejoined the workforce and she tells the listeners all about it. Also, you are about to experience our first 'phoner' as Weezy and Laura interview Dave McClure of And then the ladies close the podcast with some relationship talk as things wind down. All this and more on this week's Weezy and The Swish!

by Matt Hartley on Tue 20 Sep 2005 03:11 AM PDT

Comments are back up...with some rules (edit)

by Matt Hartley on Tue 20 Sep 2005 12:05 AM PDT

Comments are back. Abuse the privilege with hateful posting, you will be banned without warning - forever.

Expressing opinions is encouraged, but do so as if the person you are referring was sitting across from you. If you think that the comments might get you smacked in real life, then chances are you had better just keep them to yourself.

Obviously Weezy and Laura can be as hateful as they wish. While I doubt they will be, they have Goddess posting status as this is their show. At least that's what they tell me when they let me out of the gunny sack for air, anyway.

Podcast will be up shortly.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Blogging from The Swish - The News Game Week o' September 11

Here are three news stories. One story is completely real; one is completely fake; one has a real headline, but a fake story. Which is which? Post your guesses.

To hear the answer, listen to our latest podcast, coming Monday-ish.


40 Year-Old Virgin Sues The 40 Year-Old Virgin

A neighbor of actor Steve Carrell has filed a lawsuit against Universal Pictures claiming the film is based on his own life.

The man—Edward Pantone, 43—says no one got permission from him for the story rights, and says it’s more than a coincidence that there are so many similarities between his life and the film. Pantone, a virgin, works in the electronics section at Sears and has a sizeable collection of anime DVDs and characters.

The movie stars Carrell as a forty-year old virgin who works at an electronics store and collects action figures. His buddies make it their mission to find him a woman.

Pantone claims that everyone he knows that’s seen the movie assumes the character is based on him. “People at work call me Andy,” he says, a reference to the movie’s lead character. “It’s embarrassing. I just want to do my job.”

Universal hasn’t commented on the lawsuit, and Carrell’s agent said Pantone’s claim was merit less.

The suit was filed in New York City.

New Trojan Swaps Porn for Koran

Sex may sell in the United States, but not in Dubai. In a bid to gain a Middle East market presence, Trojan Condoms has quietly introduced packaging featuring Koranic versus on condoms. Each condom contains a message for its user, such as “Allah is love” or “Blessed be Allah.”

Dubai is one of the wealthiest cities in the United Arab Emirates and its citizens have some of the freest attitudes toward sex of any Islamic regions.

Diddy Was Dropped by His Fans

Diddy was left floored after he tried to crowd surf at a concert and was dropped by his fans.

The rapper, formerly known as P. Diddy, was performing at top Ibiza nightclub Space when the embarrassing mishap took place. .
According to revellers, the hip-hop star got so excited during the performance he leapt into the crowd, but instead of catching him they moved out of the way and let him hit the floor.

One onlooker said: "He took a dive from the stage , expecting to be caught by his fans. But no one caught him and he landed with a thud on the floor."

After picking himself up, Diddy - real name Sean Combs - reportedly limped back on stage and carried on. The rap star changed his name for a fourth time in July after claiming he was sick of the old moniker and tired of people never knowing whether to call him P or Diddy. .

Monday, September 12, 2005

Weezy and The Swish- episode 14

Weezy and The Swish podcast 14 *this episode has been found!*

(Worst Photoshop effort, ever!)

Yes folks, the big interview is here! This week, we talk with Ron Zonen, one of the prosecutors for the MJ trial. There is a lot of ground covered here today. Heck, we even have a few jokes inserted within key areas - just for good measure.

After introductions are given, each of us take turns asking Ron what we have on our minds. To be honest, listening to this show will give you some real insight into what actually took place behind the closed doors...

So stop reading this and listen to this week's episode of Weezy and The Swish!

by Matt Hartley on Mon 12 Sep 2005 04:16 PM PDT

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Blogging from The Swish - Interviewing Ron Zonen

by The Swish on Sat 10 Sep 2005 03:25 PM PDT

We've got prosecuter Ron Zonen in the studio today so I'm trying to come up with questions for him that won't make me look stupid. So far I've got:

1) Who do you think will win on the reality show "Shall We Dance"?

2) What's your favorite Michael Jackson song?

3) When you were prosecuting Michael Jackson, did you happen to get his autograph?
3b: If you got his autograph, can I buy it off you?

4) What kind of car do you drive?

5) Do defense attorneys generally buy better cars than prosecutors on account of the fact that their clients can afford to pay the big bucks?
5b Do you get jealous if your colleagues have nicer cars?

6) What's your address and home phone number?

7) If you were to guesstimate, how many times do you think you've yelled out, "OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR!!!"

I'm going to try and come up with some more.

Friday, September 9, 2005

Blogging From Weezy - Questions for Ron Zonen

by Louise Palanker on Fri 09 Sep 2005 02:10 AM PDT

Mr. Ron Zonen of the Santa Barbara D.A.’s Office will be our guest as we tape our next podcast tomorrow, Saturday. Post a comment here if you have a question for Mr. Zonen and he will be happy to answer it on the show. Questions can range from "How did the specific intricacies of the California criminal justice system impact your Michael Jackson Case trial strategy?" to "What is your favorite soup?" Although, hold off on the soup question because I might want to ask him that.

In an effort to make Mr. Zonen feel comfortable in the studio, I am busy installing a metal detector

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

The promo...finally

Weezy and The Swish - Promo

OK, it took me long enough. But here is the official demo to be used in multiple capacities including submission to Adam...

Weezy and The Swish- episode 13

Weezy and The Swish podcast 13 *this episode has been found!*

This week on Weezy and The Swish...

-Ponder the date and try to get their schedules figured out
-Weezy discusses her part in a documentary
-Fun with Angry Celebrities
-Fun with Angry Lesbian Poets
-Fun with Angry Laura
-And behind the scenes secrets...

by Matt Hartley on Tue 06 Sep 2005 07:10 PM PDT

Monday, September 5, 2005

Labor Day

In observance on the holiday, the show will be posted Tues.


Saturday, September 3, 2005

Blogging From Weezy - Angry Lesbian Poets

Tonight, my friend Deb and I went to do comedy at Coffee Haven in Long Beach. The room is run by our friend, Kerry Arnold Stevens who is a funny man and a gentleman. It seems, however, that since the last time I was there, the place has become overrun by angry lesbian poets. Now, please understand that I would be fine with lesbian poets or angry poets or even angry lesbians. But, a room full of angry lesbian poets can be very overwhelming to a sensitive, thoughtful comedian such as myself. What I’m trying to say is they were mean to me.

Here’s how it went down… the ALBs had taken over the first three rows and when I began my act, they were all glaring at me and chanting, “Labyrinth! Labyrinth! This, I later learned, is the name of their favorite angry lesbian poet. I was not Labyrinth and this made them angrier. Now, when angry lesbian poets go from angry to angrier, they become irate lesbian poets. This is not a good thing. I tried to get them to stop chanting by saying something funny, or at least something that I thought was funny. One of them actually pointed at me and laughed. I said, “I feel as though you’re laughing at me, not with me.” The angriest one of them snarled and spit and said, “We ARE laughing at you.” I said, “You guys are like the mean girl table at lunch.” She said, “Well, you’re not funny!” Then everyone in the place went, “Oooohhh.”

At that point, my inner voice said “Screw them,” and just did my act. Because, a lot of my jokes are good and when in doubt, or in terror, do the act. So, I got laughs and got off the stage and here comes the kicker. I hope you are ready because this is awesome… all of the angry lesbian poetry, I mean all of it, each and every angry lesbian poet and each and every angry lesbian poem is all about love and tolerance and conquering the fear of rejection and accepting all of God’s unique creatures as beautiful in the eyes of the universe, and righteously defying the injustice of the insensitive and blah dee freakin’ blah blah.

I just sat there staring at angry lesbian poet after angry lesbian poet thinking, “Am I not outcast enough for God’s love?” Or, “Are you people just angry lesbian hypocrites?

Then, my friend Comedian, Leo Flowers got up on stage and he went, “What the Hell just happened here?” Thanks, Leo. That was cool of you, because yeah, those girls really did hurt my feelings. It made me feel very exposed and vulnerable and no matter how smooth I attempted to appear, it hurts when people publicly mock you.

I’m sorry if I’m not Labyrinth. I will never be Labyrinth and my act isn’t angry and I don’t wave my arms around in extreme gestures and then back away from the mic while making a nasty face as I pose for dramatic effect after chanting something like this:

Jane is pain! Jane is rain!

My soul darkens! Emptiness harkens!

Thoughts of death! Hold my breath!

Falling, falling! Heartbeat stalling!

Moist touch enthralling my love cave!!!!

(I made that up in the spirit of what I heard tonight)

In fact, most of my jokes don’t even rhyme but I do have feelings.

Thursday, September 1, 2005

Blogging from The Swish - A Time for Sacrifice

Like many of you, I've been trolling the web for the latest updates on the horror show that's playing out in New Orleans. This is what happens when politics trump good government. Disgusting.

I checked out Daily Kos and read an entry that makes a lot of sense. He talked of skipping Christmas gifts this year, and instead donating money to aid the victims of this national tragedy. I have already donated my would-be Christmas gifts for family and friends to the Red Cross. I know the refugees will need my HBO screener of the miniseries "Empire Falls" more than anyone in my social network--ditto my autographed "Will & Grace" mouse pad.

The devil on my shoulder told me this would be the perfect excuse to avoid the relative nightmare of Christmas shopping, what inevitably turns out to be a whirlwind of anxiety in the final days to the Big J's birthday. And I rarely actually send gifts off on time. So this year it crossed my mind that I could send out a card saying, "In lieu of a scented candle/sweater/DVD, a donation in your name has been made to [An Important Relief Effort].

But then I peruse the message board on Craig's List New Orleans and read post after post of Americans all across the country offering their homes to strangers, and the generosity gives me pause. And I wish I could offer that kind of help.

Since I'm an imperfect and somewhat selfish being, I'm thinking of compromise. I am going to make a donation to the Red Cross, AND I will blame Katrina (and George Bush, by extension) for a lack of gifts this year.

I don't know what else to say.

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